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INFORMATION ABOUT COUPLE HAVING SEX WITH PROSTATE MASSAGE
MALE G-Spot (PROSTATE) these and other topics
can be found at
http://www.doctorg.com
Recently, I have received several questions concerning the male
prostate.
Q:
Do men have a G-Spot?"
A: Yes. Men do have a G "Spot" just the same as women. It is
called the prostate gland and is responsible for creating prostatic
fluid that, with sperm from the testes, becomes the male ejaculate.
Like with women, the male prostate gland completely surrounds the
urethra just slightly below the base of the scrotum. For purposes of
massage and pleasure, it can be reached through either the upper
wall of the anus or by placing pressure from the outside at a spot
at the perineum (located between the scrotum and the anal opening).
A lubricant with higher viscosity than those normally used as
vaginal lubricants is recommended.
While
men in our culture have been reluctant to experience prostate
massage due to negative ideas about anal activity, men who have had
the courage to go beyond their negative programming often report
great pleasure and expanded full body orgasms from prostate
stimulation. There is also an argument, which has not yet been
scientifically proven, that regular prostate massage can keep the
gland supple and avoid hardening that may lead to higher incidents
of prostate cancer.
While
I find that there is never a substitute for human contact, many men
feel more comfortable exploring their prostate glands on their own.
The Crystal Wand
can be an excellent tool for men to explore the pleasure that can
come from prostate massage. - Doctor G
Orgasm Through Intercourse
Q: My wife and I have been married for over 20 years now. For
the better part of that 20 years we had a limited but fairly good
sex life. She was able to experience multiple orgasm with penile
penetration on a somewhat regular basis. The problem is that my
wife no longer is able to climax with me alone, only with use of
vibrators and/or oral stimulation. We have become so frustrated
that she now refuses to use toys, in part due to my discomfort...do
you have any suggestions other than divorcing and moving on?
A:
There are an infinite number of factors involved in a woman being
able to reach orgasm as well as the creation of sexual desire. Just
as important as the physical component are the emotional and
intellectual ones. Intercourse is generally the most difficult way
for a woman to achieve orgasm. Additionally, the stress and tension
of the difficulties between the two of you may be contributing to
the issue. Also, the pressure of her "trying" to achieve orgasm
through intercourse is counterproductive.
What
I would suggest is that you work with a good sex therapist to
attempt to resolve the issues between you. Simultaneously, I would
suggest taking the focus off of her reaching orgasm through
intercourse and put the emphasis on achieving higher states of
arousal and intimacy. If you do this, the other may simply resolve
itself.
Also,
I would recommend that you purchase one or more of the videotapes
that we sell on how to create extraordinary sex. Specifically, I
would recommend
The Lover's Guide to Sexual Ecstasy, and/or
Ancient
Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy. - Doctor G
Sexual Desire
Q: My wife, whom I love very much, has always been extremely
lacking on the sexual desire side. For all 22 years of our married
life, I have to say that most of our arguments were over her lack of
desire for me sexually. It always takes a long time to regain her
trust and affection back after such discussions so I have learned to
keep them as under control as possible. Sometimes though, 10-14 day
lapses in sexual activity drive me crazy. When we have sex, I can
count on my right hand the number of times that I have not been able
to bring her to a real orgasm. Sometimes that involves 30 to 45
minutes of oral stimulation or an equivalent time of penetration
while she self stimulates. She has never had an orgasm without
manual stimulation and that has never bothered me. Romantic evenings
away from the kids, dinners waiting for her when she arrives home
from work, having the housework done by myself or a cleaning lady,
even our new house, all the things that hinders others, are all done
for her and yet 5-6 days are too soon for her and 12-14 days doesn't
mean that there will be sex between us. I've had her on vitamins
for most of our married life and she trusts me to give her what she
needs. However, none of these products have changed any part of her
sexual desire or increased the intensity of her sexual response
during intercourse. I would love to think that your products,
combination of products, or administration of products would help
change this pattern. All I know is that her two favorite periods
are at gestation and the night before her period begins. And God
help me if something prevents us from having those times from being
perfect in every way or I lose my chance.
A:
There are an infinite number of factors involved in the creation of
sexual desire. Just as important as the physical component are the
emotional and intellectual ones. People's perceived self worth,
self judgments, sexual upbringing including information from family
and peers all contribute to our sexual identity and the
circumstances under which we get turned on. Also, people just have
different desire levels and it is important that, in a relationship,
neither party blame or make their partner wrong just for the fact
that they have different desire levels. Arguments were over who is
responsible for lack of sexual desire will be totally
counterproductive.
There
is a very good book on this subject that I would recommend that you
and your wife read. It is "Passionate Marriage" by Dr. David
Schnarch and can be found at most major bookstores. After reading
it, you and your wife might want to consider consulting a qualified
sex therapist or sexologist to explore these issues.
Also,
I would recommend that you purchase one or more of the videotapes
that we sell on how to create more closeness and intimacy and
enhance your sexual relationship. Specifically, I would recommend
The Lover's Guide:
Advanced Sexual Techniques,
The
Lover's Guide to Sexual Ecstasy and
Ancient
Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy. - Doctor G
Q:
Hi, I'm a 25 yr old woman who has been on the pill for the past 9
years. I have no sexual interest or desire for anyone, including my
boyfriend. There really are no problems in our relationship...except
for the fact that I have no interest in having sex. It's just not
something I ever think about, nothing from romance to porn makes me
want to have sex. This has been going on for years. My doctor has
given me Wellbutrin hoping that the sexual side effects would help,
that was months ago and still nothing. Is there anything you can
suggest?
A: Thank you for your excellent question. I can really
empathize with what you're saying but unless you actually have low
testosterone, which can be tested for, Intrinsa is not the answer.
There are a number of other areas where scientists are working with
various neurotransmitters to see if chemistry can impact low female
sexual desire. Personally, I still believe that, just like people
born with physicial disabilities, it is possible to expand your
potential and make better use of what we have. For you I would
specifically suggest that you read Dr. Patricia Taylor's book,
Expanded
Orgasm or view the video,
Expand Her
Orgasm Tonight! Also, you and your boyfriend might want
to consider having Dr. Taylor and I do an
Introductory Evaluation. The cost is only $399 and well
worth every penny. - Doctor G
Sex and Relaxation
Q:I am wondering if sexual intercourse relieves stress in males
and females? As a male I always feel warm and positive after a good
sex session with my wife. She does not share my view on the subject,
but I remember reading something in the past that women tend to have
a glow about them if they have sex on a regular basis (I think it
was two to three times a week.) What are your thoughts on this
matter? Thank you kindly
A:Thank you for your very interesting question. It is my
experience that often men and women respond to sexual intercourse
and the physicality of sex in very different ways. Through the
challenges of life and other stresses, we can become very contracted
in our day to day experience. Sexuality can be a wonderful way to
relax, release and feel our true nature once again. For a man, the
chemical and neurological effects of an ejaculatory orgasm from
intercourse can be very pleasurable and relaxing, not dissimilar to
the feeling from eating chocolate. Men tend to have shorter sexual
response cycles and can reach orgasm and those feelings much faster
than most women. For women to experience the healing and relaxing
that great sex can bring, they must find a way to move beyond the
limiting programming that society has imposed on our sexuality. So
that rather than a duty or another "thing to do" after a long day,
sexuality can be a wonderful playground to relax, have fun and let
go in loving intimacy. Women not only generally require more
physical stimulation but also require more emotional satisfaction
before they can have that regular glow about them.
These
are principles that we teach (B.L.I.S.S.)
in working with people to develop a sexual relationship that is an
expression of their love and caring for another human being. We also
offer video tapes that deal with these issues. Specifically, I would
recommend The
Lover's Guide: Advanced Sexual Techniques,
The
Lover's Guide to Sexual Ecstasy and
Ancient
Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy. - Doctor G
Vibrators and Orgasm
Q: My wife can't climax without a vibrator and she wants to
know what she can do to have a climax without a vibrator. Will this
Crystal Wand
help or does she need some other kind of help? I want to order your
Vigorex Femme, will this help or what do we need to do to help her
have a climax without a vibrator? Love to hear from you on this.
A:
This is a question that we see more and more as women have given
themselves permission to explore sex toys. It is absolutely a
woman's right to use a vibrator if she wishes. However, like with
all choices in life, there is often a consequence. What frequently
happens is that the woman's clitoris becomes desensitized from the
high vibratory rate of a vibrator. No human action can possibly
match the intensity of stimulation that the vibrator gives. At
B.L.I.S.S., we
teach a woman to resensitize her clitoris and entire vaginal area by
learning the pleasures of a more subtle stimulation. This can and
may include such things as her working with a
special hose attachment
in the bathtub which puts out a gentle but steady stream of water so
that she can become used to the subtler pressure and learn which
spots in her genitalia feel most pleasurable to the gentler
pressure. Also, we teach breathing techniques to help her reach and
even sustain orgasm for a longer period of time.
The
Crystal Wand
is an inanimate object made of acrylic plastic. It is good for
reaching the G-Spot, particularly during self-pleasuring but again
cannot keep up with the mechanical power of a vibrator. The Wand
would be an excellent training tool for G-Spot stimulation after the
vagina has been resensitized.
As
for Vigorex Femme,
it certainly would help in increasing sensation to her genitals but
it is not the answer by itself. The bottom line is that people must
realize that no human touch can approach the intensity of the
vibrator and choices may need to be made as to frequency of use of a
vibrator and whether it is important enough to develop a more
personal human contact way to orgasm. - Doctor G
Honeymoon Infections
Q: Hi, I am a female who ejaculates, and I have been so happy
reading your research project. It leaves me with one question
however: When I have had a series of orgasms gushing close to a
liter, I will still have to go to the toilet and urinate (quite a
lot) afterwards. How does that fit into your findings? After perfect
sex, I often get problems with my bladder, I have to pee a hundred
times a day, get honeymoon infections and more. I am so happy to
read about the pushing out effect as I have just recently realized
the connection myself.
A: Since the female prostate (G-Spot) completely surrounds
your urethra, it is absolutely natural that you would have the urge
to urinate even after massive ejaculation. The honeymoon infections
are another matter that I am concerned about. Normally, ejaculation,
particularly voluminous ejaculation, has the effect of flushing the
urethra. While there have been some theories that there can be an
emotional source to "honeymoon infections," most often they are
caused by bacteria being forced back up into the urethra through
pounding intercourse or, perhaps even, from vigorous manual
stimulation. I would suggest that you see a qualified urologist on
this matter and make sure that, either with manual or penis
stimulation, that good hygiene is observed so as to lower the
possibility of unfriendly bacteria going back up into the urethra. -
Doctor G
"Giving" Her An Orgasm
Q: I am wondering how to give my girlfriend a great orgasm.
What do you recommend?
A:
My first comment is that men do not "give" women orgasms. Only
women can be responsible for their orgasms. What a man can do is to
be a skilled and sensitive lover and create an environment in which
the woman feels safe to experience her sensuality and sexuality
without expectations. Trying to create orgasm only causes
additional stress, which is counterproductive.
My
view is that, in most cases, so-called sexual "problems" are a
result of learning deficits. In other words, given what most people
are taught about sexuality in school, by their families and peers,
their anxieties and difficulties are absolutely reasonable and
understandable. With an open mind and an open heart it is possible
to create a sexual relationship that is truly a reflection of your
love and caring for each other.
What
I would recommend is that you purchase one or more of the videotapes
that we sell on how to create extraordinary sex. Specifically, I
would recommend The
Lover's Guide: Advanced Sexual Techniques,
The
Lover's Guide to Sexual Ecstasy or
Ancient
Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy. - Doctor G
What is Tantra?
Q:
Exactly what is tantra and how can my partner and I use it to
improve our relationship, particularly our sex life? Is it a
religion or something that we have to join to get benefits?
A: Tantra is both a science and an art that originates from
ancient spiritual knowledge in East India, Tibet, Egypt, and China
through the teachings in Buddhism, Hinduism and Taoism.
Traditionally, rather than referring to a sexual practice, Tantra
was about enjoying and feeling God's presence in every moment and
becoming enlightened in the process. Tantra offers techniques to
enhance arousal and one's love making skills, as well as one's
entire life, through conscious awareness and a deeper understanding
and mastery of our life force/libido.
In
American culture, we tend to want all things to be here and now -
fast. People want to take the sexual information and material out of
context and apply it like a magic lotion to transform their love
making. However, Tantra is about a lot more than just sexual tricks
or techniques. It is about the honoring of the male and female in
ourselves as well in as in our partners. Tantra literally means
weaving together the male and female forces. Through Tantra, we
bring harmony and balance to all aspects of the human psyche, mind
and body. It is about a deep and nourishing spiritual and emotional
connection with God as we know him or her and with our partner, with
the love act being the ultimate meditation.
Primarily, Tantra is a path of the heart and the path of pleasure.
It is about loving the self enough to create a life of deep
enjoyment by consciously intending and choosing actions and
activities that bring the greatest pleasure and nurturance to the
soul. Sexually, Tantra teaches fine and sophisticated arts of giving
and receiving optimum pleasure for the self and partner -- thereby
achieving transcendence, or union with the divine, through sexual
pleasure and extended orgasm.
Tantra teaches that through an in-depth awareness and loving all
aspects of the self, and also through honoring and adoring your
partner as the embodiment of God/Goddess, one can find and allow the
power of that pure love light to shine forth from within to brighten
and bring more joy to the world.
There
is a lot that Westerners can learn from Tantra. A more peaceful way
of being, harmony with the earth and others, and connection with
your beloved and the Devine, are just the beginning. For more
information about Tantra and classes where you can learn about the
tantric practice, please go to:
http://www.doctorg.com/workshops_seminars.htm
Eating a Flower
Recently, I have received several questions concerning oral sex
and vaginal tastes and odors.
Q:
Will it kill me or make me sick to eat a girl out? Everyone seems to
do it and my girlfriend wants me to but I am too scared. I heard it
tastes bad and smells awful.
Q: What does a girl's vagina taste like and is it safe?
Q: What percentage of women reject cunnilingus unless their
vagina is clean and showered first before activity? How many women
would see unclean as a turn-on?
Q: My girlfriend and I enjoy giving oral sex to each other.
But sometimes I just simply can't stand the taste of her juices. I
go down as long as I can but sometimes I just can't because it
tastes so bad. I was just wondering if there is any product or diet
supplement or a change in her diet that would help this problem?"
Q: According to any medical literature I have seen, a healthy
woman who practices normal feminine hygiene should not have an
abnormal vaginal odour. However, this runs contrary to my personal
experience and fails to explain the considerable variety of vaginal
scents I have noticed. Some women I have dated have exhibited very
strong or (to me) unpleasant vaginal tastes and scents regardless of
their state of cleanliness while others have had almost no
identifiable taste or odour again almost regardless of their state
of hygiene at the time I took my sample. Further, in no case could I
find a correlation with diet or any other obvious factor. Do you
have any comments on this matter? I assume it would interest most of
your male (and female) readers.
A:
Given our common cultural heritage of sex negativity and taboos
on oral sex, questions such as this are quite reasonable. I grew up
in an upper middle class Jewish family where there were subtle
proscriptions against oral sex as being "unkosher." During my first
attempt at giving oral sex, I almost threw up and it took years
until my attitude completely shifted to make this act one of the
most desirable parts of my sexuality.
One
way that I made this shift was to begin to visualize the vulva as a
beautiful, tasty and desirable flower. In fact, I will often use the
word flower or the Sanskrit word, yoni, which means flower. That
enables me to come to this act of pleasure with a certain respect
and, even, reverence.
In
order to make a change in one's attitude towards oral sex and
vaginal tastes and odors, I think that it is important to not
visualize oral sex as "foreplay" or something that is done strictly
to arouse a woman and make her want to have intercourse. What has
worked for me is to see it as a separate and complete act, one in
which I receive as much pleasure in giving as my partner does in
receiving. I take my time and really enjoy all of the recesses and
folds and nuances of the vulva. If that leads to intercourse, that
is fine but I try to never do it with that as a goal.
Like
foods, appreciation of vaginal tastes and odors can be an acquired
taste. Science has proven that people do have different responses to
tastes and odors and it is important for me to realize that my
perception of taste and odor is my own and I can have some control
over it. It has also been shown that diet and overall health can
have some long-term effect on how we taste and smell but ultimately
these are still subjective judgments. My attitudes towards oral sex
and vaginal tastes and odors can make a big difference. - Doctor G
ERECTILE
ISSUES
Male Multiple Orgasm
Q: Is it true that women have better orgasms than men? If
so, is it possible to become a multi-orgasmic man and have higher
intensity orgasms?
A: I feel that it is a broad generality to say that women
have better orgasms than men. Better is a subjective word but I
would say that women generally seem more willing to discuss ways to
improve and even expand their experience of orgasm than men. If you
truly wish to become a multi-orgasmic man, I would suggest that you
purchase our audiotapes,
Total
Ejaculation Control and
A Guided Erotic
Journey for Men. - Doctor G
Male Ejaculatory Control
Q:I am having problems lasting long enough to get my girlfriend
fully pleasured. Is there anything I can do to lengthen how long I
can last in bed?
Q:How can I delay my ejaculation and prolong my orgasms,
thereby being able to pleasure my partner better?
Q:I don't have a hard time getting an erection, but I have a
hard time coming to an orgasm during intercourse with my girlfriend.
I have no problem when I masturbate, and I held off of that for a
month hoping that that was the problem. Is there anything wrong with
me or am I just not very sensitive? If that is the case, is there
anything that I can do to make my penis more sensitive?
Q:How can I make my husband ejaculate quicker?
Q:How do you improve the sensitivity of your penis? Staying
power has never been a problem for me, but I do have difficulty
having orgasms during intercourse. I attribute this to a lack of
penile sensitivity. Is there anything I can do to change this?
These
questions are about men and how they can control or delay
ejaculation. Some saying they "come too fast" while others have
trouble orgasming at all. Since some men are taking medications that
retard ejaculation and there can be other physical sources to these
problems, all men should make sure that they have discussed their
situation with a knowledgeable physician. However, most of the time
these problems are not physically based but are simply results of
the lack of information and education that most of us had in forming
our sexual patterns.
One
thread that runs through these questions as well as others are the
painful emotional and relationship consequences of not dealing with
these issues. Men can learn how to control their ejaculation, while
at the same time increasing sensitivity and even experience multiple
orgasms, with and without ejaculation. I can testify to this because
I learned how and the process is not a lot different than other
disciplines that involve mind over body control. Some examples would
include the ability to slow the heart rate through yoga and
meditation.
The
first step in transformation is recognizing that change is possible.
I believe that we are evolutionary beings and have only explored a
small percentage of our ultimate sexual potential. For men, just
like with women, ejaculation and orgasm are not the same and it is
totally possible to have one with or without the other. Obtaining
ejaculatory mastery not only can help create more satisfying
relationships but can also enhance and expand a man's self esteem.
The kinds of exercises and techniques that are offered at
DoctorG.com can train men how to obtain ejaculatory mastery. I
highly recommend the exploration of these techniques.
Q:
I recently underwent a physical examination and, because I am 54
and have not ever had a prostate exam, they insisted I should. The
family doctor examined me and, afterwards, I was going to ask what
exactly she had done but did not. Up to this point in my life, I
have had a wonderful sex life. My orgasms were powerful, multiple
and I never had any problems of any kind. Since this examination,
each orgasm has become less and less and now I have difficulty
achieving an orgasm. If I am successful, it is disappointing. I have
no problem with erections, my desire is the same, my orgasms are
just not what they used to be. Everyone says it is because of my
age. Do you think it could be anything else and do you have any
suggestions?
A: The fact that your orgasms would change so much after a
simple rectal exam brings up an enormous red flag for me. I don't
know if you also had a blood test for Prostate Specific Antigens or
any indication of BPH, but I definitely would recommend your
consulting a doctor with some training in human sexuality, possibly
a urologist, to rule out all physiological possibilities for such a
rapid change. Beyond that, there are an infinite number of factors
involved in the creation of our perception of orgasm. Just as
important as the physical component are the emotional and
intellectual ones. It's also possible that concern about your
prostate health plus stimulation of your prostate may have triggered
an emotional reaction. In women, such emotional reactions often
occur after the first time they have had their prostates (aka
g-spots) stimulated. - DoctorG
Medication and erections and ejaculation
Q: I was wondering what I could take to correct sexual
dysfunction due to the taking of Zoloft. What would be safe to get
harder erections that last longer?
A: Zoloft and other antidepressants have a reputation for
retarding orgasm.
Vigorex Forte may or may not be helpful in this situation
but it can't hurt to try.
Vigorex products are homeopathic formulations that
contain nothing injurious to health. They have been taken by
hypertensives, diabetics, men on blood pressure medication,
Methadone and Antabuse. Despite the fact that there is no
indication whatsoever that it could be harmful or injurious to
anyone, If you have a medical condition and you are under medical
supervision, you are advised to inform your physician of your desire
to take this product. If you have a known allergy to oats or
lactose, you may experience your allergic symptoms in response to
taking this product. - Doctor G
Effects of stress and medications on erections and ejaculation
Q: Although there seems to be very little information
available on the subject, I know that there are a lot of men with
troubles ejaculating or orgasiming at all. This is especially so if
they are on antidepressive or hypertensive medications. A couple of
years ago I was at a Veteran's (military) help course for those with
PTSD. During an informal late night session, all the men (26?)
stated that retarded ejaculation or orgasmic inability had been a
major problem. The youngest to have had this problem with medication
had been 24 at the time. The problem persisted well past the
supposed drug half life periods and started consistently before any
effects of the medications were supposed to be felt. Some drugs
that are written up as having no sexual side effects were found by
all the men to be to blame. This was a couples help course and the
wives stated that it wasn't just their partners imaginations.
All
but one man had used Caverject injections for a period of time to
counter loss of libido (primarily lack of interest) due to this
problem as well as impotence side effects from other medication.
Many of the men had simply stopped taking medication, although still
obtaining the scripts, and simply flushed medication down the sink.
More than one of the veterans had faced assault charges when "off"
their medication but preferred that to the side effects.
Interestingly, the doctors there that night were most surprised at
what they were told about our sexual side effects. They were
especially surprised that our partners confirmed what was said.
Some of the partners were in another group and independently
confirmed the problems.
Do
you know of any literature or assistance for this problem? I cannot
go off the medication and I will be on it for life. As I am only in
my thirties, this is a great concern. It seems that all the
medications I have tried have this effect on me. I can give my wife
a lot of pleasure when I am able to get an erection because I have
no trouble with physically keeping going. Erections can take quite
a while to attain but I think that is at least partly psychological.
Orgasm & ejaculation, however, can take two or three hours of
intense masturbation. This time period seems to occur with most
medications. I do not masturbate all the time but do get extremely
frustrated and then seem to have almost a compulsion to "come".
A:
You have proposed a very interesting but complex set of questions
and I will try to separate out the various issues. First, there is
the question of the effect of psychotropic drugs on erectile
function. Then there is the question of the effect of anxiety,
whether it is from fear of not being able to obtain and/or maintain
an erection or from severe emotional distress caused by things such
as PTSD. Often, the line between the two can become blurred and
both can be contributing factors to erectile dysfunction.
From
a psychological standpoint, the traditional treatment for erectile
dysfunction and/or retarded ejaculation has been to attempt to lower
the level of stress, trying to obtain or maintain erection and/or
have an ejaculatory orgasm. This has usually been done by
de-emphasizing intercourse and teaching people other non-coital
methods of sexual expression so that the anxiety will be lessened
and erection more likely to appear and remain. In the case of
retarded ejaculation, I would like to point out that many men are
just as distressed that they ejaculate too soon. Through the use of
guided imagery and breathing techniques, men can be trained to have
exquisite multiple orgasms without ejaculation. Also, the breathing
and guided imagery techniques often cause relaxation and a lessening
of anxiety.
On
our website, we carry two such audiotapes,
Total
Ejaculation Control and
A Guided Erotic
Journey for Men that you might want to try. - Doctor G
Penis Size
Q: I have a question. How can I get my penis to be longer
and bigger ? Are there some specific curative, therapy or recipe to
get better? Please Help me!!!
A:
Thank you for your question but I'm afraid that I have bad news.
You can't without seriously desecrating your body through surgery.
There is an old saying that you might consider. "It's not how long
you make it but how you make it long." Try to be the best and most
considerate and caring lover you can be and you will do fine. Sex
is about a lot more than a large or hard penis. - Doctor G
Premature Ejaculation
Q: I am a 32 yr. old male and seem to have a problem in that
I am ejaculating quite fast and would like to know if you can
recommend either a book or some advice in order to slow down my
spermicidal ejaculation when making love to my wife.
A:
You are still quite young at 32 and this is a very common male
issue. The problem of "ejaculating quite fast" can be managed with
some basic educational understandings. We have an excellent
audiotape,
Total Ejaculation Control, which can be purchased
through our website. - Doctor G
More than a Stiff Penis
Q: I have taken your Vigorex product for several months and
there is an increased urge to have sex. My testicles have a sense
of fullness and I have a strong urge to have sex. The issue is that
I don't seem to be able to keep an erection very long and I am
searching for the feeling of a throbbing penis. My gal is not
especially sexual and there is no foreplay. That can decrease the
time for an erection to blossom. Sexual Trivia says a man under 40
can achieve an erection is 10 seconds. I remember I didn't need
foreplay 6-7 years back. I am 52 now. It takes much more effort
now. Is there a chemical the body produces from the brain that
stimulates the penis to enlarge? By the way, what is your
experience with the penis enlargers? These are the ones that are
suction devices which are said to expand the blood engorged tissues
of the penis, much like muscle building? Are they effective and
building the blood capacity in one's penis. Their advertisement
says they can enlarge the penis by 2"-4". Comments?
Anyway, the bottom line is that I like sex and want to have it a
lot. Your pills do the trick of increasing desire and my gonads can
attest to the sensation. My cholesterol is 145, my heart rate is
under seventy, my
testosterone is within normal. I need my penis to reach full
capacity.
A:
Since you are asking for my opinion, the first thing that I must say
is that sex is about a lot more than a stiff erection and
intercourse. Personally, I dislike the term "foreplay." The sexual
acts that we label as "foreplay" create an assumption that
intercourse is the goal. In addition to the natural physiological
process that takes place with aging, anxiety caused by worrying
about losing an erection will also effect its duration. I would
suggest that you just be in the moment and enjoy every sensation of
whatever sexual activity that you are involved in.
Everyone has a right to pursue sexuality in any way that they wish
but I must tell you from my considerable experience that you and
your partner are missing a lot by bypassing the range of pleasurable
sexual activities and going straight to intercourse. There are an
infinite number of factors involved in the creation of sexual
desire. Just as important as the physical component are the
emotional and intellectual ones. Perhaps your partner would feel
more sexual if you were spending more time just touching and
caressing and building the passion.
As
for the question of the so-called penis enlargers, my opinion is
that they are a total waste of time and money. You have stated that
you have no trouble getting an erection but the problem is in
maintaining it and your desire to feel a "throbbing penis."
Physiologically, we have learned that nitric oxide is the key
ingredient in preventing the reversal of blood flow and loss of
erection. A cock ring will serve the same purpose in preventing
blood flow reversal. Chemically, Viagra works towards that same
principal as does a product that we carry called
ProSexual Plus.
Another suggestion that I would have for you is that you consider
purchasing a videotape and audiotape that we sell on our website. I
strongly believe that the video The Lover's Guide: Advanced Sexual
Techniques would really be helpful for you and your partner. I
would also suggest the audiotape
A Guided Erotic
Journey for Men which will teach you how to have
multiple orgasms with or without a stiff penis. - Doctor G
Dealing With Condom Anxiety
Q: I need your help. I have a question, and I pray you could
answer it. Every time I put on a condom before sex I lose my
erection. This always happens and I need to know how to stop this
problem. I am 20 years old so I can't figure out what is wrong with
me? I have been to a urologist and he gave me some viagra samples.
All that stuff did was make me real hot and give me a hugh headache.
I get erections without a condom but they usually don't last that
long. This is a big problem because sometimes I have unprotected sex
with my girlfriend. I don't want her to get pregnant! I have also
tried Viromax and that has not worked either. What do I do ...please
help.
A: Congratulations on being aware of the importance of safer
sex practices. You are already halfway home to the solution I have a
number of suggestions for you. First, it would be helpful if you
could reduce your anxiety about the issue because fear only adds to
the problem. I know that that is easier to say than to do but you
need to start a position of not making yourself wrong. It is
possible to make the whole process of putting on the condom more
sensual and erotic. By adding play to the activity, you can also
help alleviate the anxiety.
It is
also important not to make intercourse the goal. I even suggest to
people that the lack or loss of an erection means that you are not
yet ready for intercourse. If you lose your erection, just view it
as an excuse to have fun by beginning again and engaging in other
sexual activities until you are so aroused that putting on the
condom sensually becomes inconsequential.
On a
more practical note, I would suggest using Durex Avanti condoms.
They are made out of polyurethane rather than latex and are much
more sensitive and natural feeling. Also, I would think that Viagra
could be useful. However, headaches were frequently reported in the
Viagra clinical trials and I would recommend taking an analgesic
such as aspirin or tylenol simultaneously with the Viagra.
- Doctor
G
Young and inexperienced
Q: Hi, I am 18 yrs old, and I am having a problem. Before my
girlfriend and I have sex, I have no problem getting erect.
However, when it comes to actual sex, I do not get erect or
aroused. I want to have sex with her and nervousness doesn't seem
to be the problem. What should I do?
A:
My view is that, in most cases, so-called sexual "problems" are a
result of learning deficits. In other words, given what most people
are taught about sexuality in school, by their families and peers,
their anxieties and difficulties are absolutely reasonable an
understandable. On top of that, you are both very young but with an
open mind and an open heart it is possible to create a sexual
relationship that is truly a reflection of your love and caring for
each other.
What
I would recommend is that you purchase one or more of the video/DVDs
that we sell on how to create extraordinary sex. Specifically, I
would recommend The
Lover's Guide: Advanced Sexual Techniques,
The
Lover's Guide to Sexual Ecstasy, or
Ancient
Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy. - Doctor G
Strengthen Ejaculate
Q: My question to you is about male ejaculation. Is there
anything I can take orally to enhance my ejaculation? I am not
looking to increase the sperm count necessarily but want to increase
the volume of semen when I do ejaculate. My girlfriend enjoys it
when we hold off for a couple of days and the quantity seems to rise
by itself, but would like to experience large quantities of semen
when I reach orgasm more frequently. Any advice would be greatly
appreciated. I have heard that bee's pollen would do the trick but
not really sure if this is true are just a wives tale.
A:
I know of no proven treatment that will increase your ejaculate.
Your ejaculate is a combination of semen from the testicles and
prostatic fluid and both tend to put out less fluid as you get
older. As you pointed out, not ejaculating for several days will
increase the volume. This delay combined with Tantric sexual
practices can greatly increase your pleasure and you can even learn
to have multiple orgasms without ejaculation.
You
might want to consider buying our videotape,
Ancient
Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy, or our audiotapes,
Total
Ejaculation Control and
A Guided
Journey for Men, which is about male multiple orgasm. -
Doctor G
Surrogate Partner
Q: I am a virgin and I think I need the help of a surrogate
partner. Can you help me?
A:
Being a virgin or not yet having experienced the miracle of
partnered sex is one of the areas most responsive to work with a
surrogate partner and supervising therapist. I suggest that you
check with the
International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA) and
see if they know of any qualified sex therapists or surrogate
partners anywhere in your area. - Doctor G |
