ERECTILE ISSUES

Male Multiple Orgasm
Q: Is it true that women have better orgasms than men?  If so, is it possible to become a multi-orgasmic man and have higher intensity orgasms?
A: I feel that it is a broad generality to say that women have better orgasms than men.  Better is a subjective word but I would say that women generally seem more willing to discuss ways to improve and even expand their experience of orgasm than men.  If you truly wish to become a multi-orgasmic man, I would suggest that you purchase our audiotapes, Total Ejaculation Control and A Guided Erotic Journey for Men. - Doctor G

Male Ejaculatory Control
Q:I am having problems lasting long enough to get my girlfriend fully pleasured. Is there anything I can do to lengthen how long I can last in bed?
Q:How can I delay my ejaculation and prolong my orgasms, thereby being able to pleasure my partner better?
Q:I don't have a hard time getting an erection, but I have a hard time coming to an orgasm during intercourse with my girlfriend. I have no problem when I masturbate, and I held off of that for a month hoping that that was the problem. Is there anything wrong with me or am I just not very sensitive? If that is the case, is there anything that I can do to make my penis more sensitive?
Q:How can I make my husband ejaculate quicker?
Q:How do you improve the sensitivity of your penis? Staying power has never been a problem for me, but I do have difficulty having orgasms during intercourse. I attribute this to a lack of penile sensitivity. Is there anything I can do to change this?

These questions are about men and how they can control or delay ejaculation. Some saying they "come too fast" while others have trouble orgasming at all. Since some men are taking medications that retard ejaculation and there can be other physical sources to these problems, all men should make sure that they have discussed their situation with a knowledgeable physician. However, most of the time these problems are not physically based but are simply results of the lack of information and education that most of us had in forming our sexual patterns.

One thread that runs through these questions as well as others are the painful emotional and relationship consequences of not dealing with these issues. Men can learn how to control their ejaculation, while at the same time increasing sensitivity and even experience multiple orgasms, with and without ejaculation. I can testify to this because I learned how and the process is not a lot different than other disciplines that involve mind over body control. Some examples would include the ability to slow the heart rate through yoga and meditation.

The first step in transformation is recognizing that change is possible. I believe that we are evolutionary beings and have only explored a small percentage of our ultimate sexual potential. For men, just like with women, ejaculation and orgasm are not the same and it is totally possible to have one with or without the other. Obtaining ejaculatory mastery not only can help create more satisfying relationships but can also enhance and expand a man's self esteem. The kinds of exercises and techniques that are offered at DoctorG.com can train men how to obtain ejaculatory mastery. I highly recommend the exploration of these techniques.

Q: I recently underwent a physical examination and, because I am 54 and have not ever had a prostate exam, they insisted I should. The family doctor examined me and, afterwards, I was going to ask what exactly she had done but did not. Up to this point in my life, I have had a wonderful sex life. My orgasms were powerful, multiple and I never had any problems of any kind. Since this examination, each orgasm has become less and less and now I have difficulty achieving an orgasm. If I am successful, it is disappointing. I have no problem with erections, my desire is the same, my orgasms are just not what they used to be. Everyone says it is because of my age. Do you think it could be anything else and do you have any suggestions?
A: The fact that your orgasms would change so much after a simple rectal exam brings up an enormous red flag for me. I don't know if you also had a blood test for Prostate Specific Antigens or any indication of BPH, but I definitely would recommend your consulting a doctor with some training in human sexuality, possibly a urologist, to rule out all physiological possibilities for such a rapid change. Beyond that, there are an infinite number of factors involved in the creation of our perception of orgasm. Just as important as the physical component are the emotional and intellectual ones. It's also possible that concern about your prostate health plus stimulation of your prostate may have triggered an emotional reaction. In women, such emotional reactions often occur after the first time they have had their prostates (aka g-spots) stimulated. - DoctorG

Medication and erections and ejaculation
Q: I was wondering what I could take to correct sexual dysfunction due to the taking of Zoloft.  What would be safe to get harder erections that last longer?
A: Zoloft and other antidepressants have a reputation for retarding orgasm. Vigorex Forte may or may not be helpful in this situation but it can't hurt to try.  Vigorex products are homeopathic formulations that contain nothing injurious to health.  They have been taken by hypertensives, diabetics, men on blood pressure medication, Methadone and Antabuse.  Despite the fact that there is no indication whatsoever that it could be harmful or injurious to anyone, If you have a medical condition and you are under medical supervision, you are advised to inform your physician of your desire to take this product.  If you have a known allergy to oats or lactose, you may experience your allergic symptoms in response to taking this product.  - Doctor G

Effects of stress and medications on erections and ejaculation
Q: Although there seems to be very little information available on the subject, I know that there are a lot of men with troubles ejaculating or orgasiming at all.  This is especially so if they are on antidepressive or hypertensive medications. A couple of years ago I was at a Veteran's (military) help course for those with PTSD.  During an informal late night session, all the men (26?) stated that retarded ejaculation or orgasmic inability had been a major problem. The youngest to have had this problem with medication had been 24 at the time.  The problem persisted well past the supposed drug half life periods and started consistently before any effects of the medications were supposed to be felt.  Some drugs that are written up as having no sexual side effects were found by all the men to be to blame.  This was a couples help course and the wives stated that it wasn't just their partners imaginations.

All but one man had used Caverject injections for a period of time to counter loss of libido (primarily lack of interest) due to this problem as well as impotence side effects from other medication.  Many of the men had simply stopped taking medication, although still obtaining the scripts, and simply flushed medication down the sink.  More than one of the veterans had faced assault charges when "off" their medication but preferred that to the side effects. Interestingly, the doctors there that night were most surprised at what they were told about our sexual side effects.  They were especially surprised that our partners confirmed what was said.  Some of the partners were in another group and independently confirmed the problems.

Do you know of any literature or assistance for this problem?  I cannot go off the medication and I will be on it for life.  As I am only in my thirties, this is a great concern.  It seems that all the medications I have tried have this effect on me. I can give my wife a lot of pleasure when I am able to get an erection because I have no trouble with physically keeping going.  Erections can take quite a while to attain but I think that is at least partly psychological. Orgasm & ejaculation, however, can take two or three hours of intense masturbation.  This time period seems to occur with most medications.  I do not masturbate all the time but do get extremely frustrated and then seem to have almost a compulsion to "come".
A: You have proposed a very interesting but complex set of questions and I will try to separate out the various issues.  First, there is the question of the effect of psychotropic drugs on erectile function.  Then there is the question of the effect of anxiety, whether it is from fear of not being able to obtain and/or maintain an erection or from severe emotional distress caused by things such as PTSD.  Often, the line between the two can become blurred and both can be contributing factors to erectile dysfunction.

From a psychological standpoint, the traditional treatment for erectile dysfunction and/or retarded ejaculation has been to attempt to lower the level of stress, trying to obtain or maintain erection and/or have an ejaculatory orgasm.  This has usually been done by de-emphasizing intercourse and teaching people other non-coital methods of sexual expression so that the anxiety will be lessened and erection more likely to appear and remain.  In the case of retarded ejaculation, I would like to point out that many men are just as distressed that they ejaculate too soon.  Through the use of guided imagery and breathing techniques, men can be trained to have exquisite multiple orgasms without ejaculation.  Also, the breathing and guided imagery techniques often cause relaxation and a lessening of anxiety.

On our website, we carry two such audiotapes, Total Ejaculation Control and A Guided Erotic Journey for Men that you might want to try. - Doctor G

Penis Size
Q: I have a question.  How can I get my penis to be longer and bigger ? Are there some specific curative, therapy or recipe to get better?  Please Help me!!!
A: Thank you for your question but I'm afraid that I have bad news.  You can't without seriously desecrating your body through surgery.  There is an old saying that you might consider. "It's not how long you make it but how you make it long."  Try to be the best and most considerate and caring lover you can be and you will do fine.  Sex is about a lot more than a large or hard penis. - Doctor G

Premature Ejaculation
Q: I am a 32 yr. old male and seem to have a problem in that I am ejaculating quite fast and would like to know if you can recommend either a book or some advice in order to slow down my spermicidal ejaculation when making love to my wife.
A: You are still quite young at 32 and this is a very common male issue.   The problem of "ejaculating quite fast" can be managed with some basic educational understandings.  We have an excellent audiotape, Total Ejaculation Control, which can be purchased through our website. - Doctor G

More than a Stiff Penis
Q: I have taken your Vigorex product for several months and there is an increased urge to have sex.  My testicles have a sense of fullness and I have a strong urge to have sex.  The issue is that I don't seem to be able to keep an erection very long and I am searching for the feeling of a throbbing penis.  My gal is not especially sexual and there is no foreplay.  That can decrease the time for an erection to blossom.  Sexual Trivia says a man under 40 can achieve an erection is 10 seconds.  I remember I didn't need foreplay 6-7 years back. I am 52 now.  It takes much more effort now.  Is there a chemical the body produces from the brain that stimulates the penis to enlarge?  By the way, what is your experience with the penis enlargers?  These are the ones that are suction devices which are said to expand the blood engorged tissues of the penis, much like muscle building?  Are they effective and building the blood capacity in one's penis.  Their advertisement says they can enlarge the penis by 2"-4".  Comments?

Anyway, the bottom line is that I like sex and want to have it a lot.  Your pills do the trick of increasing desire and my gonads can attest to the sensation.  My cholesterol is 145, my heart rate is under seventy, my testosterone is within normal.  I need my penis to reach full capacity.
A: Since you are asking for my opinion, the first thing that I must say is that sex is about a lot more than a stiff erection and intercourse.  Personally, I dislike the term "foreplay."  The sexual acts that we label as "foreplay" create an assumption that intercourse is the goal.  In addition to the natural physiological process that takes place with aging, anxiety caused by worrying about losing an erection will also effect its duration.  I would suggest that you just be in the moment and enjoy every sensation of whatever sexual activity that you are involved in.

Everyone has a right to pursue sexuality in any way that they wish but I must tell you from my considerable experience that you and your partner are missing a lot by bypassing the range of pleasurable sexual activities and going straight to intercourse.  There are an infinite number of factors involved in the creation of sexual desire.  Just as important as the physical component are the emotional and intellectual ones.  Perhaps your partner would feel more sexual if you were spending more time just touching and caressing and building the passion. 

As for the question of the so-called penis enlargers, my opinion is that they are a total waste of time and money.  You have stated that you have no trouble getting an erection but the problem is in maintaining it and your desire to feel a "throbbing penis."  Physiologically, we have learned that nitric oxide is the key ingredient in preventing the reversal of blood flow and loss of erection.  A cock ring will serve the same purpose in preventing blood flow reversal.  Chemically, Viagra works towards that same principal as does a product that we carry called ProSexual Plus. 

Another suggestion that I would have for you is that you consider purchasing a videotape and audiotape that we sell on our website.  I strongly believe that the video The Lover's Guide: Advanced Sexual Techniques would really be helpful for you and your partner.  I would also suggest the audiotape A Guided Erotic Journey for Men which will teach you how to have multiple orgasms with or without a stiff penis. - Doctor G

Dealing With Condom Anxiety
Q: I need your help. I have a question, and I pray you could answer it. Every time I put on a condom before sex I lose my erection. This always happens and I need to know how to stop this problem. I am 20 years old so I can't figure out what is wrong with me? I have been to a urologist and he gave me some viagra samples. All that stuff did was make me real hot and give me a hugh headache. I get erections without a condom but they usually don't last that long. This is a big problem because sometimes I have unprotected sex with my girlfriend. I don't want her to get pregnant! I have also tried Viromax and that has not worked either. What do I do ...please help.
A: Congratulations on being aware of the importance of safer sex practices. You are already halfway home to the solution I have a number of suggestions for you. First, it would be helpful if you could reduce your anxiety about the issue because fear only adds to the problem. I know that that is easier to say than to do but you need to start a position of not making yourself wrong. It is possible to make the whole process of putting on the condom more sensual and erotic. By adding play to the activity, you can also help alleviate the anxiety.

It is also important not to make intercourse the goal. I even suggest to people that the lack or loss of an erection means that you are not yet ready for intercourse. If you lose your erection, just view it as an excuse to have fun by beginning again and engaging in other sexual activities until you are so aroused that putting on the condom sensually becomes inconsequential.

On a more practical note, I would suggest using Durex Avanti condoms. They are made out of polyurethane rather than latex and are much more sensitive and natural feeling. Also, I would think that Viagra could be useful. However, headaches were frequently reported in the Viagra clinical trials and I would recommend taking an analgesic such as aspirin or tylenol simultaneously with the Viagra. - Doctor G

Young and inexperienced
Q: Hi, I am 18 yrs old, and I am having a problem.  Before my girlfriend and I have sex, I have no problem getting erect.  However, when it comes to actual sex, I do not get erect or aroused.  I want to have sex with her and nervousness doesn't seem to be the problem. What should I do?
A: My view is that, in most cases, so-called sexual "problems" are a result of learning deficits.  In other words, given what most people are taught about sexuality in school, by their families and peers, their anxieties and difficulties are absolutely reasonable an understandable.  On top of that, you are both very young but with an open mind and an open heart it is possible to create a sexual relationship that is truly a reflection of your love and caring for each other.

What I would recommend is that you purchase one or more of the video/DVDs that we sell on how to create extraordinary sex.  Specifically, I would recommend The Lover's Guide: Advanced Sexual Techniques, The Lover's Guide to Sexual Ecstasy, or Ancient Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy. - Doctor G

Strengthen Ejaculate
Q: My question to you is about male ejaculation.  Is there anything I can take orally to enhance my ejaculation?  I am not looking to increase the sperm count necessarily but want to increase the volume of semen when I do ejaculate.  My girlfriend enjoys it when we hold off for a couple of days and the quantity seems to rise by itself, but would like to experience large quantities of semen when I reach orgasm more frequently.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  I have heard that bee's pollen would do the trick but not really sure if this is true are just a wives tale.
A: I know of no proven treatment that will increase your ejaculate.  Your ejaculate is a combination of semen from the testicles and prostatic fluid and both tend to put out less fluid as you get older.  As you pointed out, not ejaculating for several days will increase the volume. This delay combined with Tantric sexual practices can greatly increase your pleasure and you can even learn to have multiple orgasms without ejaculation.

You might want to consider buying our videotape, Ancient Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy, or our audiotapes, Total Ejaculation Control and A Guided Journey for Men, which is about male multiple orgasm. - Doctor G

Surrogate Partner
Q: I am a virgin and I think I need the help of a surrogate partner.  Can you help me?
A: Being a virgin or not yet having experienced the miracle of partnered sex is one of the areas most responsive to work with a surrogate partner and supervising therapist.  I suggest that you check with the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA) and see if they know of any qualified sex therapists or surrogate partners anywhere in your area. - Doctor G